Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Where is God??????
With all the horrible things happening in the world, most of us sit and wonder....Where is God??? and why is he not stopping all the injustices to so many people, stopping the killing, stopping children being hurt or helping a person through depression or helping a person fight cancer. Recently I have thought to myself really when will he be here and help us and those of us that are hurting. Then I heard a song by "The Fray" named "You Found Me" and my whole view really changed and I realized that...He is in the first smile in the morning when you baby first sees you, he is there when you fall in love and just know, he is there when the sun first breaks the peak of the Rockies, he is there when you have the wind blowing in your face, he is there when you watch your child take their first steps, he is there with you when you feel you can't go on, he is there when you are lost and insecure, he is there lifting you up when you a down, he is with a family that is grieving, he is with the children, with the person in depression, or that person who just found out they have a terminal disease, he is faith, hope, love, happiness. He doesn't give us trials to punish us but to make us stronger and because he knows what kind of spirit we have. No matter the faith or how you worship him, he will be there and he will love you, you have to just let him in. Finally, he is there crying with you and wishing he could take all the pain away.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Homies
They have many names, friends, buddies, pals, bros and I could go on and on. These are the people you know that would support you in any decision, would be at your side with just a phone call or have your back if the unfortunate were to happen. With the way my life has been I have never really had the chance to have those type of people in my life. I have always had a wall up and have always had the attitude of "If you cross me we are done." Then you have those "sharks" there that are only out for them and will use you until they are done. Now that I have been living in Utah I have come know those people that I would consider my homies. They make me a better person and can always come to me for advice knowing I will be straight up with them and that I only expect the same from them. These are the guys that we can jam to "wanted dead or alive" right before we hop on our HOGS for a ride. These are the guys that you wake up early on a Saturday and help them move there house from room to room or would kick your ass if you broke over 5 years of sobriety. We all need these people in our lives and I am thankful that I have these kind of people in my life because I have never had them before. They are considered family and they have my complete trust.
So to my homies.....Thanks
My last post on the subject
Some of my readers may be wondering why I keep posting on the subject...well I feel I have to since I have met some criticism regarding it. My wife said to me, "that all seems right with the world." With the recent decision to return home. Yes I am speaking about my recent change in schools. I am not going to sit here and justify myself any longer because I really don't have too, but here is what I will say...I don't give a FUCK about the opinions of others!!!! It really doesn't mean SHIT to me. If I cared i would have asked for it. I am out.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Random Thoughts
I have a bunch of thoughts running through my head tonight and so I am going to lay them out....
First, I need spring and summer here quick. I need to be able to get on the HOG and ride. I need to ride with my brothers in the club. I guess you can say its cabin fever or something, but a ride would do me good.
Second, I can't help but feel like a fat ass. I broke 200 lbs. again. I know some of you can't believe I am complaining about this. But when you eat a large pizza by yourself tell me you wouldn't be thinking the same thing. One of the downfalls of moving out this far(yes my choice) was not being able to go and play b-ball on Thursdays and on Saturdays. That was most of my exercise during the winter. One of the reasons I feel this way is I lost 30lbs. last year and kept it off for most of the year. I also had to go up a notch on my belt. That really puts is into perspective, that morning you realize that you have a belly.
Third, I really couldn't give a rat's ass about the inauguration of the president today or the speech or anything he had to say.
Fourth, I got to go to the Utah Utes celebration parade and it was awesome. Got to see the sugar bowl trophy and see all the players that made this years team unforgettable. Getting out of work to go and see it was the best part. The streets were crowded with Ute fans young and old. The school has a great recruiting class coming in and should compete for another BCS run next year.
Fifth, have you ever wanted to just escape and put yourself in a hole or something? I feel that way today. I just want to get away and clear my head, rethink who I am. I have lost myself lately and don't honestly know who I am anymore. I feel as if I am adrift at sea just floating to no where.
Sixth, So for those of you who want to know who my team is...well as if you couldn't guess...I am a Running Ute again. Call me whatever you want (fair weather fan, band wagoner) or tell me "I
disappointed in you"...once again ask me if I care. I am pretty sure you won't like the answer I give you either.
Finally, I saw my brother in law at the parade and really wanted to go up to him and ask how he was and how my sister was doing. But I didn't get the chance with all the thousands of people out there. I am really over it and could care less about the past. Some people would think screw them, but not me. They could show up to my house tomorrow and it would be like nothing ever happened. I honestly love them both and would relish the opportunity to just say hello and give my sister a hug and shake the mans hand that has made her happy. In the end that's all I have ever asked from my brother in laws was to make them happy. Some of you might have a different opinion but once again I don't care. I wish I had an email address or something just to tell them how my family is and that things have changed from the last time we saw each other and to tell them that they will always be welcome and I would be available whenever they need it. After all they are family no matter what happened.
Thanks for making it through this post I know it was a little dark but where else can I get these things out. Later
First, I need spring and summer here quick. I need to be able to get on the HOG and ride. I need to ride with my brothers in the club. I guess you can say its cabin fever or something, but a ride would do me good.
Second, I can't help but feel like a fat ass. I broke 200 lbs. again. I know some of you can't believe I am complaining about this. But when you eat a large pizza by yourself tell me you wouldn't be thinking the same thing. One of the downfalls of moving out this far(yes my choice) was not being able to go and play b-ball on Thursdays and on Saturdays. That was most of my exercise during the winter. One of the reasons I feel this way is I lost 30lbs. last year and kept it off for most of the year. I also had to go up a notch on my belt. That really puts is into perspective, that morning you realize that you have a belly.
Third, I really couldn't give a rat's ass about the inauguration of the president today or the speech or anything he had to say.
Fourth, I got to go to the Utah Utes celebration parade and it was awesome. Got to see the sugar bowl trophy and see all the players that made this years team unforgettable. Getting out of work to go and see it was the best part. The streets were crowded with Ute fans young and old. The school has a great recruiting class coming in and should compete for another BCS run next year.
Fifth, have you ever wanted to just escape and put yourself in a hole or something? I feel that way today. I just want to get away and clear my head, rethink who I am. I have lost myself lately and don't honestly know who I am anymore. I feel as if I am adrift at sea just floating to no where.
Sixth, So for those of you who want to know who my team is...well as if you couldn't guess...I am a Running Ute again. Call me whatever you want (fair weather fan, band wagoner) or tell me "I
disappointed in you"...once again ask me if I care. I am pretty sure you won't like the answer I give you either.
Finally, I saw my brother in law at the parade and really wanted to go up to him and ask how he was and how my sister was doing. But I didn't get the chance with all the thousands of people out there. I am really over it and could care less about the past. Some people would think screw them, but not me. They could show up to my house tomorrow and it would be like nothing ever happened. I honestly love them both and would relish the opportunity to just say hello and give my sister a hug and shake the mans hand that has made her happy. In the end that's all I have ever asked from my brother in laws was to make them happy. Some of you might have a different opinion but once again I don't care. I wish I had an email address or something just to tell them how my family is and that things have changed from the last time we saw each other and to tell them that they will always be welcome and I would be available whenever they need it. After all they are family no matter what happened.
Thanks for making it through this post I know it was a little dark but where else can I get these things out. Later
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